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How To Begin Home Schooling Your Child Teaching Reading Comprehension Strategies
How To Begin Home Schooling Your Child: Teaching Reading Comprehension Strategies
Reading and writing are the "bottom line" when it comes to education. If a person cannot read and write they cannot progress much in the 21st century.
So, this is the obvious place to start when you begin home schooling your child. However, there are other considerations that you will also have to take into account.
1. Set Goals
To begin with, decide what your final goals for your child's education are. For example, "I would like my child to go to University and earn a degree", or "I would like my child to finish school and be proficient in Math, Science and several foreign languages."
Each parent has their own ideas on how they would like their child to progress and their home schooling decisions must be based on these ideas. Of course you cannot know what your child will decide later on in life but you can begin to plan their education now and steer them in the "right" direction.
A good idea is to ensure that your child's education is as broad as possible giving them a wide range of choices later on.
Once you have sketched this goal outline for your child's education and you know why and what you want to teach your child in their home school environment, you are then ready to begin.
The first place to begin is to teach your child to read and write and progress naturally form there.
What can you do to teach your child to read? Is it possible to make your child become a fast and fluent reader?
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2. A System
The first thing you will have to do now is decide on the method you will be using to teach your child to read and write. Will you develop your own, or will you buy someone else's?
There are benefits to both choices; however, the danger of developing your own method is that you will be spending more time experimenting when in fact you could have spent that time reading.
I recently spoke with a father who is home schooling his five year old daughter, who had spent 8 months teaching her to read, without a method, and she still could only read a few words. He thought there something wrong with his daughter and had her checked out by psychologists; their conclusion was that she was fine. He then put the blame on himself. Well, the only thing "wrong" with him was that he didn't have a system.
By implementing a reliable, easy and proven system to your home school efforts you will be astounded by the progress your child can make in a very short period of time.
And seeing as your main objective here is to get your child reading and writing so that you canreally get on with their home school education, implementing a good system is of paramount importance.
3. Be Consistent
Once you have finalized all the details; you know what your goals are and what system you are going to use, you are ready to begin home schooling your child in earnest.
Bear in mind that children love routine. For this reason, ensure that all of their home schooling lessons are planned and timed, even if you are a relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of parent, some kind of structure and "security" is always advisable.
Set a time for your child's reading and writing lesson every day. Make sure not to overload them so that they will always see their lessons as fun. This will keep your child interested and coming back for more.
As most parents begin home schooling their children quite early, usually when the child is only 3 or 4 years old, it is important to remember that initially your child's lessons should not be longer than 10 minutes as this will be the extent of their attention span. It will naturally increase later on as your child gets older.
Consistency is key. Set up an easy, comfortable routine and watch your child flower.
Home schooling your child can be daunting at times, but by following the three simple points above you will be able to undertake this challenge and flourish. With a little planning and effort on your part your child should be well on their way to a very successful home school education.
Pay Close Attention Here-
Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover how you can teach your child to read in just 12 weeks. Children who learn to read and develop fluent reading abilities early on has a huge advantage over their peers who did not have the opportunity to learn to read early. I think this is something that all parent should put to consideration seriously. If you believe that teaching your child to read and helping your child develop proficient reading skills is the key to future success, and if you wish to help your children develop to their fullest potential... then I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page - Click Here
We all know that learning to read is an important part of growing up for a child. Learning to read is also essential to future success both in school and in life. Older children and adults who struggle with reading will struggle in the future in terms of both professional prospects as well as personal life. Reading is quite simply a part of every day modern life. While we all know that helping our children learn to read is important, many parents struggle with what they can do as non-educators to teach children to read. There are three simple ways you can teach your child to read - expose them to the world of literacy, read to them, and give them the tools they need to become literate.
It is important to expose children to the world of literacy from a very young age. This means demonstrating on a daily basis how important reading is by sharing the various ways the written word is a part of daily modern life from street signs to food labels to printed literature. It is also important to teach young children how print works, such as the fact we read from left to right and top to bottom. Readers know this is the way literature works but non-readers need to be taught. You should also make sure your child has reading material available that is suitable and age appropriate. You can either provide your child with a library of their own or if money is tight then make sure they have a library card and visit regularly. Exposing your child to the world of literacy from a young age is an important part of teaching reading.
Reading makes your child SMARTER, here's how to develope early reading skills
Reading to your child is the most important part of helping your child become a reader. Teaching reading involves teaching children to love reading. The more fun your child has with books from an early age then the more interested they will be when they reach school age in becoming a reader. Reading to your child also improves your child's emergent literacy skills including vocabulary, knowledge, and print awareness such as how a book works. Reading to your child on a regular basis gives your pre-reader a jumpstart in learning to read and continuing to read to your child even after they learn to read helps improve their vocabulary and reading skills.
Giving your child the tools they need to become literate is also important. Some parents handicap their children's efforts to learn to read by not helping them master the alphabet and beginning letter sounds before school begins. Other parents discourage learning to read by not providing age-appropriate reading material. If there are no books or magazines in the house to read then how can a child learn to read? Still other parents do not speak properly to their children, perhaps using baby talk, to encourage the development of vocabulary and grammar skills. You can be involved in helping your child learn to read by giving your child the tools they need to become literate.
If you follow these three simple steps you can teach your child to read. Teaching reading is as simple as exposing them to the world of literacy, reading to them, and giving them the tools they need to become literate.
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Teaching very young children to read is not a simple process, but it doesn't have to be difficult either. With a simple step-by-step reading program, you too, can teach your child to read at an early age and help your child achieve superb reading skills. To discover a super simple and powerful reading program that will show you how to easily teach your child to read - Click Here
What are the Different Approaches to Reading?
A reading approach is a way of starting to teach beginners to read. Over the past years teachers have used various approaches to the teaching of reading, writing and spelling. There are various ways of beginning to teach reading.
The Analytic Approach
This approach begins with whole words, usually nouns which can be easily illustrated and which have a meaning for the reader. The word is them broken down into its component parts or analyzed.
This way the reader can see the relationship between the written word, reading the word and their own language.
The Eclectic Approach
An eclectic approach to reading uses a combination of methods such as global, analytic and synthetic to best suit the learner and teacher
Children who cannot read proficiently by grade 3 are four times more likely to leave school without a diploma than proficient readers - Here's How to Teach Your Child to Read Fluently
The Global Approach
A global approach to reading gives the learner meaningful text to listen to, look at and memorize by sight. It assumes that a person learns best when reading begins with natural text.
The Sight Word Approach
In a sight word approach new words are learned by memorizing them with the help of picture clues.
The Syllable Approach
In the syllable approach, the syllable is the basic building block used to decode words. It is a synthetic approach to reading which is a method which begins with the smallest part of sounds and builds them into syllables and words/ This is called synthesizing them.
The Synthetic Approach to Reading
The synthetic approach to reading builds up words by learning smaller units of speech such as letters, sounds, and syllables. It is usually used alongside other methods of teaching reading such as the phonic or analytic approach.
Many in-service teachers are not knowledgeable in the basic concepts of the English language. They do not know how to address the basic building blocks of language and reading. - This is NOT a statement that we are making, rather, this is a finding from a study done at the Texas A&M University. Their study was aptly titled "Why elementary teachers might be inadequately prepared to teach reading." To discover the scientifically proven methods, that will enable you to teach your child to read, and help your child become a fast and fluent reader, visit Approaches to Teaching Reading
Learning to read is a long process, but it doesn't have to be a difficult process. Broken down into intuitive and logical steps, a child as young as two years old can learn to read, and older children can accomplish even more. For a simple, step-by-step program that can help your child learn to read - Click Here
Preface
This article illustrates ways for adults to change their own behaviors, in order to prevent and appropriately respond to temper tantrums. In my experience, adults who have or work with children with behavior challenges are often surprised to hear that they have to change their own behaviors or change the environment to meet the needs of the child. As a behavior consultant, I have often heard "Why should I have to change? He is the one acting out." or "It is too much work to make these changes." In actuality, the adult does not have to make any changes in their own behavior or the environment, but then it is very unlikely that the child's behavior will change. If you are ready to make changes to meet the needs of your child or students, keep reading.
Additionally, this article is also meant to help educators and parents. Although much of the language is geared towards parents, the strategies presented here are meant for school as well. As you read through the examples below, think of how you can apply the strategies to students in your classroom.
Keep in mind that behavioral strategies, such as the ones in this article, do not always lead to immediate change in child behavior. Your child may be surprised by the new strategies you are using and behaviors could get more challenging at first. You need to try strategies consistently over a period of time to see their true effect on behavior.
Introduction
Temper tantrums are a normal part of a developing child's life. They generally occur in young children (4 and under) but also may occur in older children, especially children with difficulty expressing their feelings or communicating their thoughts, wants, and needs.
Tantrums happen when children feel a lack of control in their world. As adults, we have found our own ways to vent our frustrations when things don't go our way. Many children have not yet developed these skills. Because they have trouble identifying, understanding, or appropriately expressing their frustrations, they have tantrums as a way to vent their feelings.
Temper tantrums can be very frustrating for both you and your child. They sometimes last for a long time (anywhere from a couple of minutes to an hour or more). They can be very loud and scary. You may also feel bad that your child is so unhappy, and you just want it to stop.
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Here are some common reasons children have tantrums:
- They want something they can't have (e.g., no, you can't play with Brian today; no, you can't have any more candy)
- They are scared to go somewhere or do something new or they are anxious about you leaving (e.g. I am taking you to the doctor, you are going to a new school today, I am going out and you will stay with Aunt Sue)
- They are told they have to do something they don't want to do (e.g., you have to go to bed now. you need to complete your math homework)
- They are yelled at for misbehaving or told they have to stop their behavior (e.g., stop throwing the ball in the house, don't touch my purse)
- They are told to stop doing something they enjoy, to do something they don't enjoy (e.g., stop playing with your toys and go to bed)
Here are some common responses and outcomes to child temper tantrums:
Attempting to reason with the child during the tantrum, trying to get him to see that the tantrum is unnecessary and needs to stop -- Once a child is having a tantrum, he is almost impossible to reason with. Trying to talk him out of it usually leads to more crying, screaming, etc.
Giving in to the child, just to make the tantrum stop -- Although this works in the short-term, it teaches the child that he can use tantrums to get his way. This will lead to more tantrums in the future.
Trying to negotiate with the child -- Here is an example: You and your child already agreed that you are going to the store for food and she can pick out one toy. When you get to the store, she sees three toys she wants and starts begging for all three. You negotiate and say, "How about if I buy you two instead." If you made an agreement, or you have a rule set in place, only change the rule or agreement if you determine that your rule was unreasonable. Negotiating and changing rules or agreements, reinforces to your child that she can get you to bend the rules by having a tantrum and teaches her that you don't necessarily mean what you say. This can lead to her not taking your rules too seriously.
Holding the child and telling them everything will be okay -- This is a perfectly acceptable response when a child is having a tantrum because she is scared or hurt in some way and she needs comfort. However, if a child is having a tantrum to control a situation (e.g., he wants something he can't have, he needs to stop doing something and he doesn't want to, etc.) holding him, telling him everything is okay, rubbing his back, etc. is giving him positive attention for a tantrum. This can also lead to an increase in more tantrums.
Resorting to yelling or spanking -- This type of reaction could cause the tantrum to get worse. If it does stop the tantrum in the short-term, it could lead to more feelings of anger or anxiety in the child, ultimately leading to more tantrums or other types of challenging behaviors in the long-term, such as shutting down or not communicating his or her thoughts or feelings.
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Take Precautions
If tantrums seem constant, unsafe, or feel unmanageable to you, tell your child's doctor. He should be able to provide you with additional resources to help you and your child or refer you to someone who can. If this is happening with a child in your class, request additional support from your school team (guidance counselor, administrator, etc) and tell the child's parents what is happening.
Strategies for Preventing Tantrums
Now let's look at the examples I mentioned above, one at a time, and talk about how to prevent a tantrum for each situation.
Scenario 1: Your child wants something she can't have (e.g., no, you can't play with Brian today; no, you can't have any more candy).
Preventing the Tantrum:
A way to prevent a tantrum in this situation is to say "no" without saying no by using the empathetic statement, explanation, choice, reminder approach.
Let's look at an example:
Your child asks for more candy after you have already told her she can only have one piece a day. She already had her piece of candy for the day but comes to you asking for more.
Here is how you can say "no" without saying "no".
Empathetic Statement - "I understand you want more candy because it tastes so good." (this makes her feel understood).
Explanation - "But it is important for our bodies, to eat healthy, so we can only have one piece a day." (reiterating the rule or explaining the reason)
Choice -"If you are hungry, you can have an apple or yogurt."(making her feel valuable)
Reminder - "You can have a piece of candy again tomorrow." (reminding her that she will enjoy some candy again soon).
It is important to tell the child what is expected (e.g., it is good for our bodies to eat healthy, so we can only have one piece of candy a day) rather than what is not expected (e.g., you can't have candy because it is bad for you) This type of negative phrasing leaves more room for arguing or talking back.
Language may need to be shortened or modified for young children or children who have language based difficulties. Some children may benefit from seeing their choices (e.g., show them the apple and yogurt when you give the choice). Very young children or children who have language based difficulties, may have trouble visualizing the choices.
People often have a hard time giving up the word "no" because they feel children need to accept it without argument since this will be expected in the "real world" when they grow up. This is an unrealistic expectation on the part of the adult. Children often have a hard time seeing past the word "no" and thinking of alternatives to meet their needs. This is why they beg and plead. They get stuck on the fact that they can't have something without seeing the whole picture.
People often say that parents who don't say "no" end up with spoiled kids. This can be true if you give your kids whatever they want, but using this saying "no" without saying "no" approach, allows the parent or teacher to remain in control while helping the child feel respected and understood. It also helps the child visualize other scenarios than the one she is hoping for, which will lead to the ability to better accept "no" as she gets older.
Children who cannot read proficiently by grade 3 are four times more likely to leave school without a diploma than proficient readers - Here's How to Teach Your Child to Read Fluently
This approach may sound like a lot of work compared to just saying one word "no" but it saves a lot of time because children who get this type of response are much less likely to argue, beg, cry, or have a tantrum.
Scenario 2: Your child is scared to go somewhere or do something new or they are anxious about you leaving (e.g. I am taking you to the doctor, you are going to a new school today, I am going out and you will stay with Aunt Sue)
Preventing the tantrum:
Prepare your child for the upcoming situation. Tell him what to expect, so he is not surprised. Obviously you can't predict everything, so just try your best. For children with language difficulties, pictures can help them understand what to expect. Social stories (e.g., stories which explain what an event will be like, such as a doctor visit or first day of school) are a great tool to prepare a child for these types of situations.
*Side Note - Social stories can also be used to teach children about behavioral expectations, such as how to act in a store, restaurant,or movie theater.
Sometimes pictures and words are not enough to prepare a child. Some children need one or more practice visits before the actual event.
Let the child know exactly when the event will happen and give them reminders as it is getting closer (i.e. "We are going to the doctor today. Do you have any questions about what it will be like?" or "I am going out tonight and you will stay with Aunt Sue. Do you have questions"?)
Empathize with your child's feelings (e.g., I understand going to the doctor can be scary) rather than dismissing his feelings (e.g., you don't have to be afraid, it's not scary)
And once again, simplifying language or using pictures can help with children with language based difficulties.
Let your child know that he did well after the event is over (e.g., "I know going to the doctor was scary for you, but you did it anyway. Nice work! You should feel proud.").
If you have to leave your child for the day, evening, etc. reassure your child that you will be back, be empathetic about their feelings ("I understand you are scared to be without me, but you will be taken care of by Aunt Sue and I will be back after dinner.") and hug and kiss your child before you go (if they like that type of affection). You can leave a picture of yourself behind for your child, if you find that helps. When you return, be affectionate and act excited to see your child. If applicable, let them know that you are proud of them and they should be proud of themselves for behaving appropriately or staying calm while you were gone. If your child is having a tantrum as you are trying to get out the door, do not prolong leaving or try to get your child to accept that you are leaving, this will likely prolong the tantrum, just go. Most children will adjust quickly once you have actually left.
Here is an example of a social story provided by the Autism Program at Boston Medical Center Going to the Doctor. If you want to purchase ready-made social stories, take a look at the selection of social stories at amazon.com. If you want to make your own social stories, you can write them yourself. For ideas to make a social story of pictures, try using Google Images or visiting 12 Computer Programs, Websites And Apps For Making Social Stories at http://www.friendshipcircle.org/blog/2013/02/11/12-computer-programs-web....
Scenario 3: Your child is told to do something he doesn't want to do (e.g., you have to go to bed now, you need to complete your math homework).
Preventing the Tantrum:
a. Prepare your child for upcoming changes and try to stick to a routine when possible so your child knows what to expect. For example, you can read your child a story each night and let them know ahead of time that after the story is bed time. For an older child, you can let them have a half hour of computer before bed and let them know that after the computer will be time for bed. Children are less likely to argue or tantrum when they know what to expect and they have had time to mentally prepare themselves.
Children with language based difficulties or those with trouble understanding the concept of time, do well when activities have a definitive ending (e.g. "When this show is over, it is time for bed.", rather than "It is bed time in a half an hour."). If your child is doing something without a definitive ending, such as browsing the internet, using a timer can be helpful.
b. Children who get overwhelmed, frustrated, or simply do not want to complete homework, chores, or other tasks often benefit from breaks during the work and earned privileges upon completion. For example, if you want your child to complete 20 math problems, try saying, "Do ten problems, take a five-minute break to do an activity of choice, then do the next ten problems. When you are done, you can watch a show." Stay away from language like, "If you don't do your math homework, you are not watching tv." This sets the stage for talking back, not listening to you, and tantrums. Children respond much better when they can earn privileges (e.g., "After your math homework, You can watch tv.").
For children with language based difficulties, a "first/then picture board" or visual schedule can help.This will allow them to see what they are expected to do.
Scenario 4: Your child is yelled at for misbehaving or told he has to stop his behavior (e.g., stop throwing the ball in the house)
Preventing the Tantrum:
Rather than yelling or telling your child to stop the behavior, give a directive phrased in the positive, in a neutral tone (e.g., "Put the ball down.", "Play with the ball outside.") or redirect your child to a different activity (e.g., "Come over here and play this game with me."). After your child complies with you, acknowledge his compliance (e.g. thanks for following directions). Children are much more likely to respond to your requests when you tell them what to do instead of what not to do, because the new direction pulls their mind away from the behavior they are engaged in.
* Side Note - Eliminate the word "can." For example, "Can you play with the ball outside?" "Can you come over here and play this game with me?" It is not a question for them to decide "yes" or "no." It is a directive given by you that they are expected to follow.
Scenario 5: Your child is told to stop doing something he enjoys, to do something he doesn't enjoy (i.e., stop playing with your toys and go to bed).
Use the same strategies listed in number 3
Preventing the Tantrum:
Prepare your child for upcoming changes and try to stick to a routine when possible so your child knows what to expect. For example, you can let your child know that in five minutes it is time to clean up and go to bed, or after the tv show it is time to do dishes, rather than saying "stop watching tv and go do the dishes"). As I said before, children are less likely to argue or tantrum when they know what to expect and they have time to mentally prepare themselves. They also respond better to directives phrased in the positive "after the tv show it is time to do dishes", rather than the negative "stop watching tv and go do the dishes).
What are the chances that my child will be a poor reader? Find out here!
Children with language based difficulties or those with trouble understanding the concept of time do well when activities have a definite ending (e.g. when this show is over it is time for bed, rather than it is bed time in a half an hour). If your child is doing something without a definitive ending, such as browsing the internet, using a timer can be helpful.
Again, for children with language based difficulties, a "first/then picture board" or visual schedule can help.
Handling the Tantrum
If the child argues, cries, begs, pleads, throw herself on the floor, etc., even after implementing the strategies above, be empathetic but stand firm in your decision (e.g., I understand you are upset because you want the candy but I've already given you your choices; I understand you are scared to go to the doctor, but we are still going because we have to take care of your health; I understand you are upset because you don't want to go to bed yet, but that is the rule; I understand you are upset because you are having fun playing ball in the house, but you need to put it down because something could break; I know your homework is frustrating, but you still have to complete it). If your child keeps arguing or begging after you have made your empathetic statement and enforced your rule or directive, let her know that you will not engage in discussion about it any further. If your child continues to tantrum, ignore the behavior unless it is unsafe.
For unsafe behavior such as trying to hurt someone else or destroying property, direct your child to a safe space (e.g., a room or area where they cannot hurt anyone or destroy anything) until they have calmed down. Supervise your child and tell her one time that she can leave the space when her behavior is safe (e.g., hands and feet to self).
For children who have trouble understanding language you may want to show a picture to indicate "hands and feet to self." You can take your own pictures of your child sitting nicely to use, or search Google Images for "child sitting" or other similar phrases, and print out a picture that shows a child sitting or standing calmly.
Once you have told your child one time that she can leave the space when her behavior is safe, do not make eye contact or say anything else to your child. Just wait until she is engaging in safe behavior and then tell her that she can come out, if she does not come out on her own. If you do not have a safe space you may want to create one using soft materials such as gym mats. Although some parents and experts disagree, I personally feel it is okay to play soothing music when your child is in the safe space and to provide your child with stress relieving objects such as stress balls, if your child wants to use them. You can already have the objects set up in the safe space, ready for when your child gets there.
The safe space should not be used as a threat (e.g. if you don't stop you are going in the safe space) or a punishment (e.g., That's it! You are going in the safe space!). The space is simply a space for your child to calm down. Try saying "go into your safe space to cool off" in a calm and neutral tone, while pointing to the space. If your child does not go, try to gently guide them there or carry them if possible. If your child will not comply with going to a safe space, if your child is trying to hurt herself in the space, or if you simply cannot create a safe space, hold the child in your arms (if you are able) so she can't hurt herself or anyone else or destroy anything, but do not give attention to the child (i.e. eye contact, talking, rubbing her back, etc.) Simply hold her until she has calmed down. Let her know that you will let her go once she is safe (e.g., keeping hands and feet to self, not hurting herself, etc.).
Once a child has calmed down after going into a safe space or being held, praise her for regaining control (e.g., nice work calming yourself down).
Side-Note * When a tantrum is truly based on fear, anxiety, etc. such as when your child is afraid to go to the doctor or a new school, this is a time when comforting her during the tantrum (e.g. rubbing her back, holding her, telling her everything will be okay, etc.) is acceptable. However, you still need to be firm and let her know, that even though she is afraid, she must go. Do not let her skip out on something because she is throwing a tantrum. This will only cause her to do the same thing in the future. If you have to (and you are able to), pick your child up and bring her where she needs to go. Obviously, you cannot bring your child anywhere if she is acting unsafe. In this case hold the child in your arms so she can't hurt herself or anyone else, until she is calm, and follow all the steps listed above for handling unsafe behavior in a tantrum. Once she has calmed down, praise her for regaining control (e.g., nice work calming yourself down) and then head to where you need to go.
If you are an educator, you may not be able to ignore a disruptive tantrum because it takes away from other students' learning. Additionally, you may not be comfortable or be allowed to hold children or keep them confined in a safe space when acting unsafe. Therefore, it is important to know your school's policy for handling disruptive, unsafe or destructive behaviors in your classroom or school. Here are some options to suggest to your school if no protocol is in place:
Have a safe space in your classroom for more mild or manageable tantrums.
Have authorized personnel (e.g., principal, vice principal, guidance counselor, security guard, etc.) stay with the child while you remove the other students to a safe location. Remain with your students until you get word that it is safe for you and your students to return.
Have authorized personnel escort the child to a safe location in the building if the tantrum cannot be managed in the classroom.
Authorized personnel should be able to follow the necessary steps recommended in the Handling Tantrums section of this article, to keep the child safe.
For a child who has severe tantrums in school that are unsafe, destructive or excessively disruptive, a clear behavior plan and safety plan should be in place. Behavior plans should include all the positive support strategies listed above. It is also recommended to try some type of reward system (this can also be done at home) in which the child can earn preferred privileges for appropriate behavior. Reward system's are intended to be gradually faded out as behaviors improve. Remember to always use positive phrasing with motivation charts (e.g., keep your cool so you can earn your basketball time, rather than, you're acting up so you are going to lose your basketball time). As stated before, children are much more likely to comply when they know they are working towards something, than when being threatened that you will take something away.
Your school team should be involved every step of the way to determine what steps to take for a child whose behavior does not improve with the support strategies listed in this article.
Reading makes your child SMARTER, here's how to develope early reading skills
Tantrums in Very Young Children
The methods in this article are mean/t for children with more reasoning ability than a child between one and two years of age, but here I will quickly note some strategies to prevent tantrums in children that young.
Strategy 1: Your child wants something she can't have. For example, she wants to go into your refrigerator or grab your ceramic cat from the shelf. If possible, try to engage your child in an activity that satisfies her curiosity (e.g., hold her while you point to and name the items in the fridge or take the ceramic cat off the shelf and show it to her with your supervision). If that is not possible, try redirecting her by showing her a toy that interests her or bring her to a different area and then show her something exciting. For children that young, out of sight is quickly out of mind. If they are already holding something they shouldn't, such as your lip stick, try putting your hand out and act very excited for them to hand it to you, praising them when they do, or offer them a more exciting object. If you have to, you can also take the object from the child and quickly replace it with a more exciting object.
Strategy 2: Your child is having a tantrum because you are leaving. Reassure your child that you will be back and hug and kiss your child before you go. You can leave a picture of yourself behind for the babysitter to show your child, if you find that helps. When you return, be affectionate and act excited to see your child. Do not prolong leaving or try to get your child to accept that you are leaving, this will likely prolong the tantrum, just go. Most children will adjust quickly once you have actually left.
Additional Information
As a general rule, catch your children doing the right things and let them know it. This type of positive attention could also lead to a decrease in tantrums. Children thrive on attention. If they don't have enough positive attention, they will use other means to get you attention, even if it is negative.
Help your child label his or her feelings. (e.g., I know your math homework can be frustrating, I understand you are sad because you can't see your friend today, I get that you are mad because you friend yelled at you). This type of language leads children to be better able to identify their own feelings. When children can express themselves, they are less likely to throw tantrums.
Children are less likely to have tantrums when they feel a sense of control in their lives. Use choices to help them feel in control (e.g., Do you want to wear the green shirt or the red one?" Do you want an apple or banana in your lunch? Do you want to do your math or reading homework first?)
When your child is calm; and in a pleasant, cooperative mood, talk to them about ways to stay calm when they can't have their way. Give them examples of how to say how they feel (e.g., I am mad that I can't stay up as late as my brother, I am scared of the doctor) Teach them ways to calm down when they are upset (e.g., taking deep breaths, drawing a picture, laying on their bed, looking at a book, counting in their head, etc.). For children with repeated unsafe behaviors such as punching and kicking others and destroying property, some therapists suggest teaching alternative behaviors, such as ripping blank paper or punching a pillow. You need to decide what you are comfortable with, and assess what alternatives work with for child.
Remember to keep your cool. If you yell, talk in a nasty tone, say mean things or spank your child, it will not lead to a decrease in tantrums. If you want your child's behavior to change you will have to make changes in your own behavior as a first step.
Finally, I understand that not every one of these strategies will work for you, your household, your classroom, or your child. These strategies may not be what you are used to and may require a lot of changes on your part. While there is no perfect method for eliminating all challenging behaviors, these are the strategies that I endorse and believe in as being the most effective for preventing and handling tantrums. I believe in these strategies for three reasons: 1) They are backed by research. Studies show a positive change in children with these types of supportive strategies in place. 2) I have seen these strategies work when others have implemented them. 3) They have worked for me with a 99% success rate as I have implemented these strategies for over 16 years.
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